there have been many struggles at home, in school, with friends, in making decisions, in every step in life, in the mind, in the soul in every breath, in every particle of my body. why the doubts? why the problems? why the hassles? why the struggles? sometimes the issues pile on my head, squeeze the air out my lungs, my throat and chest tightens and my tears threaten to burst from the wells.
"And if you do not do well, sin in crouching at the door. It's desire is for you, but you must rule over it." Genesis 4:6 (ESV)
i guess the climb from the valley to the mountain is a tough one, there's the altitude sickness - which explains the breathlessness and lightheadedness; there's gravity (of sin), which seems to be relentlessly pulling you downwards...or at least your mind tells that to you.
but the climb is difficult because i chose to climb it alone, seeing God in the distance, rather than seeing God in me. Focusing on the pain of bearing of the cross, rather than the promise and truth of the Risen Christ...encircling my thoughts and emotions within the valley, rather than the vision of higher grounds...
Lord, it's tough when the difficult elements seem to matter the most and the hope is far off.
"but let me learn that my losses are my gains,
to be broken is to heal,
that the valley's where Your Power is revealed,
let me find Your Grace in the valley."
living a life for God is tough, but i know in the end, the view at the top is worth it.
